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English: 1961 Ford F250HD-(Very Rare) 4x4, Gri...

We have all been used and abused by someone in our lifetime. Hopefully, for most of us, we have learned to see the signs of a user and abuser and can avoid being used and abused. Unfortunately, so many people have only known a life of being used and abused. They don’t know anything else. Then, of course, that is what they learn and they become users and abusers themselves. For the person being used, the real question becomes where is the line between being a good, helpful human being and being used. When do you actually call it quits between you and the user?


I have recently found myself in that very situation. HE is a worthless piece of sh&* in my opinion. The only time he even acknowledges my presence is when he wants something. If HE were the only one involved, I could be out of the situation in a heartbeat. HE is a selfish, lying, back-stabbing, lazy, and emotionally and physically abusive drug addict. The problem is that SHE is working every day and trying to be the best she can be. SHE is trying to provide for the future. The other problem is that THEY have two adorable KIDS who deserve so much more and so much better than they currently have. So I am caught between despising the HE and feeling sorry for the SHE and the KIDS.


So here is the situation as it stands right now. HE – I will not lift a finger to help him. Sorry about his luck! KIDS – I will do anything to make their childhood happy filled with good memories. SHE – she is the confusing part. I know she is trying really hard to provide a life – a good life – for herself and the kids. She knows she needs to leave him, things will be so much better for her and the kids – eventually. It is scary to think about what life will be like on her own with the kids. It is a tough road, a hard and sometimes lonely road to travel. How do you convince someone that is the best road to take?


SHE has also been used and abused emotionally by the HE. SHE has been with him since high school and HE is the only ‘adult’ relationship she has been in not to mention HE is the father of the KIDS. SHE knows she should walk away from the relationship – she has threatened several times. But actually doing it is another thing.  HE has used and abused their friends that I am sure she feels she has no one to lean on.


So my dilemma becomes, What do I do? Do I let myself be used to help her and the kids? Do I walk away because of him? Do I confront? I am not sure. So as of this writing, I talk about not helping them anymore but when it comes down to it, I still cannot say no.


Have you ever been in a situation like this? What did you do? How did it work out for everybody involved? Please leave me a comment. I love hearing from you.!