My 9-year-old son told me the other day that he and his brother were the luckiest kids in the world because they get to have two Christmases and two birthdays. He continued to tell me that if I and their dad were still married that they would only get one Christmas and one Birthday but this way he gets two of each. I was amused by his priorities and his innocence of the whole situation.
Later when I recalled the short conversation with a friend, I became aware of how well their dad and I did to not involve our kids in our divorce. I, for one can tell you that it was not an easy feat. There were many, many times I bit my tongue so hard that it bled. It was a bitter, evil divorce. But here we are five years later and I believe the kids are as well adjusted to the divorce as well as any kid can be adjusted to a divorce. That is something that will be going into my Grateful Journal (more on that on Friday!).
It is unfortunate that I see so many kids who are torn between their parents. Each parent bad mouthing the other parent. Or one parent does not even show up for the kids at all. They choose not to deal with the children because they do not want to deal with the other parent. When parents are no longer together, it directly affects the kids and we wonder why the kids today behave as they do. Well it is no wonder.
My kids live with their father. In the beginning stages of our divorce, I can totally understand why some non-custodial parents walk away. There were many times when I was tired of the struggles and the fighting with their dad. I was tired of being the ‘bad’ parent and never thought I was strong enough to endure the constant battles.
But thanks to the Good Lord and some really good friends, I have endured; I outlasted the struggles; and I am a stronger and better person today because of that bitter divorce. There were many extenuating circumstances involved in our separation and eventual divorce and they have been silenced.
My situation is not ideal but I believe it is the best that it can be given the situation we were all handed. What is your experience with divorce? Please leave me a comment. I love hearing from you.
- How Does Divorce Effect Children? (youuniversityonline.com)
- Two Christmases? (letstalkaboutdivorce.com)
- Divorce, Kids and Sharing Stuff Between Homes (thinkingaboutgettingdivorced.com)
- Divorce: Another stamp in life’s passport (lovemudrunlift.wordpress.com)