Have you ever come to a crossroads in your life where you just stand there looking down each road not knowing which road to take? I have come to that crossroad. I am confused. I am torn between following a dream or facing reality. Is it possible to walk on the grass in between? I don’t know.
I am in a funk because things are happening as fast as I want. I feel like I am spinning my wheels wondering if I should continue to pursue the dream. I feel like a failure right now. I know there are always roadblocks when pursuing a dream. I question my ability to realize my dream. Am I good enough to realize my dream? Do I have the determination to carry on? When do you say enough is enough? How do you know when you are wasting your time?
My problem is the root of all evil – money. My dream is not producing any income. Fortunately, it is also not costing me any money. Just time. Time that could be spent doing something that would produce an income. Time that maybe I am not managing very well. Time that seems to be running out.
I am a Junior in college and the classes are demanding more and more of that time. I love taking these classes; I love learning. I write posts for this blog three times a week which I also love; I won’t give it up. I have two children whom I love dearly and want to provide the best childhood I possibly can. There is not much time left over to pursue a dream AND make money.
I know in my heart that the dream will never die. My mom always told me that if you want something bad enough, you will figure out a way to get it. She also always said that ‘where there’s a will, there’s a way.’ I may have to put the dream on hold temporarily, but I will figure out a way to do both. I just do not know how right now.
I feel like a spoiled brat right now. At this time of year many people have much more pressing problems than whether to look for a job or pursue a dream. I am fortunate – my bills are paid, Christmas presents are bought and wrapped, and I have plenty of food in the kitchen. But I am a dreamer and reality crashes the party when you least expect it. I like living in my dream world.
I need to find a realist to help ground me; to reel me in before I get to lost in my dream world. I need some serious help with the day-to-day reality of life. Someone who loves me even in my dream world; someone to take care of the real world; and someone to keep me balanced between the two. Yes, I still believe in the fairy tale.
I know things will work out eventually. I will figure out how to bring money into the house while also pursuing my dream. I have faith in God and he has not failed me. I just get a little twisted sometimes. I apologize for the whining and I thank you for letting me ramble.
Have you come to a crossroad where you had to choose between what you should do and what you want to do? How did you handle it? Please leave me a comment. I love hearing from you.